Posted by on Feb 9, 2016 in Couples Counseling, Divorce Recovery | 0 comments

Follow Your Inner kNOwing:

Very early on in my hypnotherapy training with the Wellness Institute, I (who at the time was not very well versed in the art of refusal) was given a homework assignment to practice for a short period of time: I was asked to respond to everything that was requested of me with the answer of, “NO.” I was horrified as I thought of all of the places I would have to assert this statement that for so long had seemed like a very bad word, especially for someone who liked to please others. However, being the good student that I was, I gave it a shot, and appreciated the intention of the assignment. It would be some time later that I truly understood the complex wisdom in this simple request.

It was not so much about displeasing others or even asserting myself. It was about getting in touch with an inner compass that held the deeper inner knowing of what I truly want in my life. What had I allowed to enter that did not belong? What had I said “yes” to when I really meant “no?” What had I convinced myself of being good for me because it was “right,” “what I should be or do,” or expected by others or society at large? Where had I surrendered my power and allowed other people, places, or things to take precedence over my deeper instincts? Where had I lost my way in all the “Yes,” “No problem,” “That’s fine,” “It’s okay,” “I can wait,” and “You’re right?”

This unconventional homework assignment helped me to begin a journey toward understanding what it means to be in touch with my “inner knowing,” which means I must also be in touch with my “inner NO.” Along with that comes a clearer basis for my “inner YES.” When I am not as caught up in all the things I wish I had said “no” to, I have more opportunities to say “YES” to the things that feel more congruent with who I am, what I want, and where I am going. When I live in this space of “clear yes and clear no,” I feel really free and have so much more energy and love to share.

So ask yourself, “Might I benefit from a similar homework assignment?” Do you often say “Yes,” when you would love to say “No” instead? Where have you lost your way or surrendered your power? Conduct an experiment with yourself, or feel free to use the meditation and affirmation below to tune in and get more clear. Assess where you might be able to add “No” into your life, so that you have much more room and energy for all that you truly want! And remember to enlist all those in your life with whom you can rejuvenate, ask for and receive support, and who help you to remember how precious you are! Your relationship with yourself can be the best foundation for this growth, so take time with yourself. Quiet down and listen.