What would happen if you chose to see all of your relationships as teachers? Maybe you already do this, or maybe this is a very new concept for you. When you begin to view relationships through this lens, all challenges and struggles become opportunities to learn, and all the joys and blessings become celebrations of what you are learning. You wake up to a different perspective and see life as a more cooperative venture.
Teachers Come In All Forms
I’m not just talking about your intimate partnerships. Teachers come in all types of forms from your parents, siblings, children, school teachers, coaches, and mentors, to extended family members, friends, spiritual teachers, and even acquaintances you meet out and about in your life. A seemingly chance encounter with an unfamiliar person might brings the deepest opportunity to practice patience, compassion, acceptance, or whatever universal lesson you may be working on at the time.
Relationships Help You Heal
Relationships provide the most exponential opportunity to expand your self-awareness and level of consciousness. Although spending time with yourself is a required foundation for such inner-knowing, it is only when you begin to interact with others that you have the opportunity to see yourself more clearly.
When you choose to learn about yourself and life through your interactions, you open up a space that allows you to develop and practice honesty, clear communication, personal responsibility and genuine connection. This new way of being creates corrective experiences to help heal old wounds that maintain unhealthy coping patterns. Deeper intimacy and a more fulfilling existence become possible.
Ask Yourself, “What do I need to learn here?”
Although always worth it in the long run, the learning opportunities that relationships present are not always pleasant or easy, much like many of the teachers you may have previously encountered in your life thus far. Some teachers are gentle and supportive, some encourage you, and others are tough on you and push you to step into your higher potential. Other teachers make your life hell and won’t let up on you because their message is just that important. Relationships often have similar themes and flavors. The catch with this perspective is that if you skip out on class early, you will not escape the lesson. It will just show up in another form until you allow yourself to receive the teaching.
So the next time you find yourself challenged in a relationship, first ask, “What is it that I need to learn here?” Stick around for the lesson and don’t cheat yourself of an opportunity to grow.
Discover “The Master Commitment”
Below I have included an excerpt from a book that I highly recommend called, “The Conscious Heart” by Kathlyn and Gay Hendricks. They also wrote the book “Conscious Loving” that I often suggest to couples in my office. These books speak to committed intimate partnerships. However, their teachings on what it means to have a conscious relationship will serve to strengthen an existing relationship or help prepare you for a healthy, future relationship. The excerpt below is called “The Master Commitment.” This framework provides a foundation to build upon and to explore relationships from a new vantage point.
If it speaks to you, recite it out loud to yourself and one other person. Make this commitment first to yourself. If you are in a relationship, say it out loud to each other. Speaking your commitment out loud gives it power and resonates within you on a deeper level. I encourage you to try this exercise and see how it feels! Tell me about it the next time I see you or send me an email sharing your experience.
The Master Commitment
Adopted from “The Conscious Heart”
by Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks
I accept relationship itself as my primary teacher about myself, other people, and the mysteries of the Universe. I open myself to letting every relationship interaction, no matter how seemingly trivial, deepen my connection with my essence and the essence of others. I invite all healing powers in myself and the Universe to remove any obstacles to my relationships being a source of joyful fulfillment to me in all my depths.
I commit to clearing up anything in me that keeps me from full loving unity with myself and my loved ones.
I make a commitment to intimacy that is greater than my commitment to being right and perpetuating my conditioned patterns.
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